dunno wat to say actualli...
for e last two days..
e discovery fiesta was goin on..
i juz felt like sucha slacker..
not in terms of a sc...
but as a student..
whose main responsibility is to study...
juz couldn't sleep at all last nite...
all i noe is tht i've been sucha jerk all these while...
not onli hurting myself ..
probably sinking deeper into depression..
but worse, unwittingly caused others pain too...
i dun want it tis way...
i feel so lost rite now..
totally disoriented n hopeless..
felt a string sense of a paroxysm...
reali feel lik gushing out in tears...
but i noe i simply cant...
not at times when so many ppl are ard...
didnt feel lik i cld juz be left there for all n sundry to see...
i noe once i start i wld juz start ranting....crying....
wats worse..cascade into an avalanche......
im beginning to sound cynical myself...
better stop......
reali stop.
juz prob feeling so left out whereva i go...
be it in klass...in skool...in council....even wif sum of e frenz i thot was reali close to me..
prob still tink tht way now..
but some part of me juz feels tht im deluding myself...
well well..guess i reali muz stop...
mabbe cum back another time when i can finally collect my thots together properly...
.
~tas
Tas_anne @ Thursday, August 07, 2003
